Wednesday, June 25, 2008


I moved from Arizona the year that I graduated from Mountain View High School. We had lived at 857 Barkley Street since I was 11 years old. Yeah, that's only about 7 years in the same house, but it was the longest that we had ever lived in one location and it was VERY hard to go.

My best memories are from that period of my life (and some of my worst).

I was never that girl that had a gazillion friends. I just needed one or two and with that, life was grand. I always had someone to confide in and someone's shoulder to cry on when Shawn, or Lee Richardson, or Brad Smith didn't see me quite the same way that I saw them.

I actually never felt like friends were all that important oddly enough. Sure, I wanted a few of them and always had a "best friend", but as I got older, I just didn't seem to care.

When we moved from Arizona, I never really realized what I was leaving. I only had a couple of people that I cared to keep in contact with anyway. The thing is, you don't realize how great it is to be where you were raised until you aren't around that anymore.

Everywhere we go around here Casey knows people. All we have to do is walk down the street or go to church and there is someone that he went to school with. I haven't had that since I left Arizona and didn't realize that it was something to be missed. It is!

The Wrights were on the other end of the Barkley and had 6 kids all pretty close to the same ages of our 6. Amy was and is 6 months older than me, putting her a year ahead of me in school. From the time I moved in, she was always that friend that was there. We weren't always "best friends", but always friends none-the-less. There were years of school where I hung out with only her and Brook and then years when other friends were a better fit.

I was at Amy's wedding, and she too was at mine (my first one that is). The last time I saw her was at my first wedding - 12 years ago.

I didn't see a need to really spend time with her or any other friends for that matter. As most of you know I have 5 sisters and love to be around them. I felt no need for other friends. They were seen as more of an inconvenience. How pathetic that I'm admitting that, but life gets busy and things get prioritized and friends fell lower and lower on the list.

Amy and I started email eachother again over a year ago and she was here last weekend.

I have to admit (she knows this) that I was really hesitant to have to spend time with an "old friend". What if it was awkward, or what if we didn't enjoy being together anymore? I was very concerned until I saw her. It was like we had hung out just the night before. I can't speak for her, but the two days we spent together were so much fun and I enjoyed every minute of it (my wallet didn't).

When she left I cried as she drove away. Not because I was crushed to see her go, but because it made me sad that I have chosen to live without that part of my life for so long. I was sad because I had lost a part of me when I turned 18 and went off to college and left behind my "goofy" self. I was just sad that she was leaving and that I was going to have to go back to my normal self.

I was different with her around. She knew me all through young womens. She knew me when I was at my very happiest, carefree self. Nobody knows me like that - not even my sisters. She knows a side of me that I was only ever comfortable showing to my closest friends. She knows things about me that nobody else in this world knows and I loved being with an old friend that knows me so well and loves me so much.

I miss Amy. I miss being around that "comfort" and realized that there is NOTHING in the world like an old friend, someone that has known you 25 years and not been related.

I have promised myself that I will not go another 12 years without seeing her because she did make me feel young again, and more myself than I have felt in a very long time.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my life. I love being a mother and a wife. I love having all that I have. I have a very nice life, but there is something to be said for feeling 16 again and for being with someone that knows you for that long and that well.

So, my opinion has changed. I do need friends and I want them. Yes, I still adore my sisters, but I want that part of my life that I share with only friends back and I'm taking it back.

There's nothing like an old friend to make you feel young and carefree again.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I think that there is a reason that over 3 million copies of this book have sold. That's really not a mystery. The only mystery is that only 3 million copies have sold. How many women are in this world? How many of them do too much? That would be all of them. Can you imagine a book that was titled this way for men? Is there even a man that thinks, or feels, or is doing too much? I don't think so. I realize that my husband is going to be rolling his eyes, but oh well. I'm feeling tired and overwhelmed and just feel like complaining.
Here is my current list of complaints:
Jane has strep throat for the second time this month (try keeping an 8 year old in her room for 24 strait hours. Sounds good until you have to do it)
My house is currently 83 degrees. Thats INSIDE!
I have that lovely sweat puddle between my breasts (never was a problem prior to my implants)
I taste like salt due to the continual sweat.
Dinner sucked tonight.
Sammy is teeting big time and won't be put down for more than 2 seconds. He won't even go to Casey without screaming the entire time. FUN!
My jeans are just a little tighter than I would like.
Jane hit Katy when she wouldn't leave the bedroom.
I forgot to put in an order of vinyl names for a chore board that was ordered last week and needs to be delivered this weekend.
The basement heater was on oddly enough when I went down to do some work, adding to the sweat puddle between the boobies.
I have to make an apron that was ordered last week and keep putting it off thinking that I will do it this weekend (I will have no choice at that point)
My head is about to explode from the pounding headache that has been with me all day. Perhaps it has to do with teh fact that my house will not cool down.
Our electric bill will be around $500 this month because our air conditioner runs around the clock (not exaggerating) and it is still at sweat house in here.
We now get to spend $5000 to upgrade our air conditioning and get a whole second unit so that our house will actually stay cool. That's when we have that much just lying around!
My dishwasher no longer cleans the dishes, so I end up hand washing a good portion of them every morning.
The microwave still rattles every time it gets turned on.
The water line freezes about every other day on the fridge, and the sink water is nasty.
My abs hurt from a pilates/yoga workout yesterday.
I didn't get the the gym today due to the doctors appoinment for Jane.
I ate an entire Snickers Ice Cream bar tonight when nobody was looking.
It's 8:30 and I feel like it's midnight.
Jane's sitting on the "snotty spot" for the second time tonight (you know, for hitting Kate).
Kate spent a total of about 50 minutes on the snotty spot today for talking back to me!
I lost my temper this morning over breakfast, and again at lunch.
The laundry is still not done.
I think that the list is just about endless - that's probably the most discouraging thing. However, I will admit that just like the list of complaints and things not perfect in my overachieving life (again Casey, I'm sure you are rolling your eyes and laughing inside), I have a list of great things that happened today:
Kate played her first baseball game!
Sammy gave me more kisses then I think I wanted (got to love slobber and snot kisses).
My husband passionately kissed me this morning (I think he was just being silly, but I loved it none-the-less)
Jane and I stopped for Slurpies after her huge, nasty shot of antibiotic.
I filled three orders of chore cards.
I get to spend time with my sister tomorrow.
I didn't get to the gym.
Katy hugged me.
Jane came up and kissed my cheeck for no reason.
Cole was here for the day.
The floors got vacuumed, swept, and mopped.
My bathroom got 80% clean.
I got 3 loads of laundry done.
I showered and got dressed all before 10am.
I love my husband.
I have money in the bank.
I have a fan blowing directly on me to hopefully dry up that sweat puddle!
And more. So inspite of the feeling like I have way too much to do and am always trying to hit a mark that is unattainable - I'm doing pretty darn good. If the worst thing in my life is that my house is a sauna, my appliances are all shutting down, and Jane keeps getting strep, then I would say that my life is pretty good.
I think as women we all do this to ourselves. We all have this imaginary mark that we are always trying to hit. We are always trying to be better and put on this image of perfection for everyone to see. The truth is that it just isn't that way. I lose my temper and say things I shouldn't. I leave piles of clothes on the bathtub edge. I don't load the dishwasher as often as I should, and my laundry room is an embarassment (not to mention my thighs).
So now you all know that I'm not perfect, or even close to it. My days are overwhelming, but filled with just enough sweet moments to make all the frustrations disappear. As long as it stays that way things will be just fine.
I am blessed!

Saturday, June 7, 2008

My latest addition to my Soap Star Mom line.

This is the third attempt at finding an apron to sell that I love. It's been SO frustrating. The picture below is the original one (child size on my adorable child dress form). The original was cute. I had them made in adult and child sizes, but they were lacking. So I found a new pattern and they are currently being made. However, I had to go and meet with the seamstress last week because they looked funny (I combined two patterns to make one that I thought I would like). We worked out some of the problems, but I left very discouraged. I realized that there was no pattern out there that was the same as the one in my head so I sat down and started drawing and the above apron is what I came up with!

I went to the fabric store and found three different fabrics that I thought would go well together and came home and got to work. I used tissue paper to figure out the pattern for the bodice and went from there. It was not an easy task because I am NOT the best seamstress (as you would be able to tell if you looked closely enough at the finished product). There were many seams that had to be ripped out and redone.

The really funny thing is that I made the pattern to fit this adult woman dress form that I bought to display the aprons. You wouldn't think it was funny until you realized that this particular dress form (like most of them) is about a size 0! I put the bodice on her and it looked SO good. They I thought to myself "self, I had better try this on a real person". It looked like I was trying to squeeze into one of Katy's tank tops. Not so pretty!

Adjustments were made and I quit using the dress form from that point on. I became my own dress form (because my body is so perfect and all - LOL).

When all was said and done I was very pleased. It still isn't perfect and still isn't EXACTLY what I want, but generally. I will make a few more changes on the next one before I have the seamstress get to work on making a lot of them. I do love them. I tried to make a pattern that would flatter most women's body types and I think that this does it.

I love the fabric, I love the pattern I created, and I just love this apron and am pround to sell it (once I make it perfect of course)!

Now I have to shrink the pattern down so that I can have child size ones made too. My back is killing me and I'm exausted, but couldn't be more proud of myself. I took what was in my head and created it - all by myself!